Inauguration Day

“Who told you this was a good idea?? No, seriously. Who told you??”

The decision to start a blog is not one that I’ve taken lightly. In fact, it’s not something that I had ever even considered until a mentor expressed to me that I may have a unique, humorous perspective on my day-to-day happenings. Unfortunately, this is the main thing that has kept me from verbalizing my inner musings previously. Either:

A.     I am like everyone else. Think about the people you know—does not every last one of them think that they have a unique perspective? I mean, we’re all originals around here, right, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that we’ve got something smooth and fresh for the masses. Second, who do you know that doesn’t think they’re funny? Everyone thinks they’re funny.

I think this stems from the fact that everyone thinks they have a sense of humor—which I think is different, but anyway… I would bet anybody a turkey sandwich that if you ask someone on the street if they have a great sense of smell, they’d squint, and ponder, and maybe give a couple of test sniffs. But ask them if they have a great sense of humor; “Oh, yeah!” No thought, no hesitation.  No mercy on those who do not see their inner light of hilarity.

OR

B.     I’m not like everyone else, and I’m about to broadcast it to the two people who will read this blog regularly. Shout out Mom & Dad!ß [this is just saying that I recognize and appreciate your support. ] My point is, I may have a very unique, very humorous perspective that I should be keeping to myself instead of starting a blog and ultimately disappointing my family.
 
      All that being said, a lot of folks like to root for the underdog. And that’s me. I actually even have two dogs. Also, the person that told my I should start a blog is literally the most well-read, brainiest person I know. He has a blog, he reads blogs, and if he says I should have a blog, just consider it the equivalent of when Al Gore invented the internet—you cannot anticipate how much you are going to love this information super-highway that I’m going to guide your travels on [especially once I get past the dial-up phase], nor can you even fathom the amount of time you’re going to lose. 

“So it’s a free country, and I can’t stop you, but what is thing even about?? Have you thought about that??”

[Long explanation about the ideas that I had, and what I was thinking when I had them, and what I wanted to eat when I was thinking about that, and why I think I eat my emotions, and how I workout all the time even though it doesn’t look like it, but that my parents didn’t put me in sports when I was a kid, so I have really poor hand-eye coordination…] No. But here are a few things I think will be entertaining for you:

1.     Self-deprecation. I’m like, really, really, good at it. I’m so good at it that sometimes I do something and then call someone because I’m so entertained and bewildered at my own small-mindedness. Those people always like it when I call to tell on myself, so maybe you’ll like it, too.

2.     Dating. Spoiler alert—I’m single. That’s a new thing, and it’s rough out there, kids. If you’re married, just do that. It’s much better than the alternative. But please, allow me to entertain you with my sad adventures and disappointments. They’re hilarious—promise!

3.     Starting over. I think Jay-Z said it best when he had some youth say, “It’s a hard knock life for us.” But there’s Hope (from God’s grace), and there’s hope (from the strength He provides for us thru one other’s testimony).  We inspire each other to act out, cry really loud, and smile when things go to sh*t so that we can flourish as unique, hilarious souls. That's the heart of why I think this might be a great idea; I really want to make you laugh a little, and encourage you a lot.

Expected level of athleticism for this blog

      

      So I won’t be giving much advice, or sharing amazing recipes, or fashion opinions, or fitness motivation, or really offering too much in terms of substance you can actually use except to lighten your mood when you’re so mad you want to punch baby giraffes in the face to watch their heads swirl around [which would be cruel and bad manners, don’t do that]. 

      Still, I hope you’ll support my choice to grab a free corner of the interweb by not posting awful comments. Or do, as long as they're funny (ask a friend if you aren't sure). I already know that I shouldn’t be taking this show on the road; you don’t have to tell me. All it will take is for me, like Google, to offer a reasonable answer once when you have a burning question [or when you're trying to prove a point], and we'll all rejoice at this decision to go public with my antics.

Enjoy!